The always present perfect past

Casper was our dear Weimaraner dog - as you see, I loved him much. My father took such a good photo of my mother, brother, and me with Casper that summer when I was 11.

This was mother's last time to see Francis in this life - in September 2003; she died in the summer 2004. Now they are sitting together again just like this - there is room for more of us on that couch....

My mother was a care giver for her mother (here in the photo with my father) the last seven years of my grandmother's life. Then my father and grandmother died within two weeks of each other, suddenly leaving my mother without her husband and mother. Now the bitterness of that loss has been turned to sweetest joy.

I posed a perfect picture - we all loved Casper. He left us first. Then my father, and then my mother last year. I wonder if Casper is also there with mother and dad now.

Where are your old discoloured photos? Your windows into your spirit never glaze over - those photos pull you to stand before your fuller identity, because they remind you of things past that have really never passed. We bring it all along all through life as we gather together our selves through this journey, and then, in the middle of life, we stand before the threshold of vastness, peering into something we can never see in this time of our existence.

All of these lives, all of these graves, all of this love, bitterness, pain, anguish, hope, and in it life grows, not as some march of progress from good to better but simply as the precious life the maker has given us from the moment we sparked into being.

The tasks we do are all replaceable. Anyone can mop, sweep, dust, program, play the violin, bake, and work as many other things, but like an undertow we create something matchless as we toil and work in these replaceable functions - we weave lives together creating something mirrored only in the mystery of the Trinity - truly inclusive love that brings others into the fold as those already there nurture their relationships of love and caring.

But that is something we peer into as into a fog now - how is such a thing possible? We cannot know the answer now, though we come closer as we cherish precious life as it is and was and will be, now and forever more.

My Texas Christmas 2008

"Howdy!" from Chris, as he shows us the old Foyt Store in Mumford, Texas - now simply the Post Office. Chris' mother and grandmother used to run the store here until they closed it. Chris is studying acting and film directing in Los Angeles. He is a super intelligent, creative, and good-looking guy you will see in the movies some day. I'm fortunate to be related to future stars like this....
My cousin Julie (left) and Melanie (right), my other cousin's wife, prepare desserts for the Christmas Day meal.
Family bliss: My uncle Robert, my aunt Dorothy (the parents of my cousins Julie and Zack), and my brother Randy catch up on old times. My uncle was a pilot for AA all his life, and he was a pilot in WWII and flew the Berlin Air lift.
My aunt and uncle, and sitting on the couch my second cousin Haylee....
My cousin Julie watches me take a picture of Zack's (my other cousin) cat.
Zack and his wife Melanie. We had Christmas meal at their house.

I have now been back in Leipzig for about one day. I am still in the middle of jet lag, and there is about 18 inches of snow outside. Tomorrow the temperature will finally get above freezing here. But I look at all the wonderful photos of my visit to Texas the past three weeks, and no cold can invade me then. I am so glad all my family is within easy driving distance in Texas. The "trip" to Fort Worth for Christmas meal was only 26 minutes. And Julie and I drove to Hearne to visit the cemetary, and to Mumford to visit our family there. My great-aunt Lilian, who lived in the big house in Mumford, knew three US Presidents personally - that was something special, especially since back then women did not have nearly the political power they have today.

I also enjoyed catching up with old friends in the DFW area: Keith and Susan (old friends from high school band and church) and their three daughters, Randy and Jessica, Karen from Austin, and of course Chris and Ruth Ann and their kids in Austin.

As special as this Christmas was, it was still difficult for me and my brother, since this was our first Christmas without our mother. We spent much time on Christmas remembering my parents, our grandparents, and many other family members who are now together surrounded by God's very presence and waiting for us to join them for the ultimate family reunion.

Christmas in Texas en passant....

I hope all of you are having the beginnings of a good new year. Lets hope that 2009 will be better to us than 2008.

After arriving in Dallas on December 19 I had much to do: renew my drivers license, settle some legal issues with the house, and order a headstone for my mother's grave. On Christmas day we were 15 family members at my cousin's house for a wonderful meal. I could visit with my aunt and uncle for a long time.

Last week, on Tuesday, my cousin and I drove to central Texas to visit the cemetary - my first time back there since we buried my mother there on April 4, 2008. We also visited relatives in Mumford, a wide spot on the road near the Brazos River. I got to know Chris there, a relative studying acting and film directing in LA. Then, on New Year's Eve, I ate Mexican food and saw "Doubt" with Meril Streep. Two friends and I saw the movie and ate together.

On January 1 I drove down to Austin to cash in on Chris' (from the blog here) offer for beer at Rover's. It had been over 5 years since seeing Chris, Ruth Ann, and all their children, so it was a great but too short reunion. I even made friends with "buns" - mister Bunny, their rabbit. And on Friday I had to use the AC in the car on the way up I35 - it was so warm. And Saturday it was 84 degrees - about 28C - in the Dallas area, which is quite a contrast to the frigid cold in central Europe that will greet me at my arrival in Leipzig this coming weekend.

Now I have a lot of yardwork to do before I hop on the plane Friday. I hope I can push myself...
I'll have more details and a few photos when I am back in Germany.
Wishing you all a good week....