The Religious Right is left (out)

Random thoughts cross through the mind. As anything "right" (meaning a percieved political, social, or religious slant) seems to gain ground in north America, I am astounded at how such groups so thoroughly exclude people. They often have a very narrow tolerance zone of convictions in their respective fields, and they quickly alienate those who think or act differently. They become the arbiter or defender of truth, and they may even claim a divine sanction for their convictions. Whole groups may be dismissed, but when individuals are approached as individuals and put under pressure to conform (either you do it my/our way, or you are wrong/evil/an outcast), I am reminded of totalitarian regimes in the 20th century in Europe, and perhaps even in the largest eastern "people's republic" that now exists.

But perhaps the best solution to this dilemma is to let such groups simply continue down their road. As they define and delineate themselves, they will exclude more and more people, until they loose any impact they might have had. At some point they will have left themselves out of life all together.

Wild Weather

My fears have been confirmed - winter has returned to Middle Europe with great force. The transportation lines for almost all forms of motion have been severly effected. And daily I scorn the inability of our ultra-modern high-tech public transportation to deal with these normal weather events. People spend the night on trains stranded in the countryside while motorists wonder if they will also overnight on the Autobahn.

Back in April, I believe, we had an ash cloud from a volcano in Iceland that brought most of air travel to a standstill. Once again, all the advances, technology, and power of our society were powerless and at the mercy of something totally outside of our inventions: nature.

We still cannot control nature. It does what it wants when it wants, and all our plans may be changed or cancelled as a result. Or perhaps we should include nature in our plans. It's a good idea for me. I see here a reminder - we - humans - did not create everything around us. We live the delusion that we can control and use it as if it belonged to us. But such weather events remind us that we belong to it and not it to us. But what is "it"?

I have a very specific answer to that question.

Is there no choice between sentiment, kitsch, or exaggeration?

Germany's economy is supposedly improving fast. I don't see where this is really happening. Compared to my home in Texas, people here are not buying new big expensive things, they're not building new houses, and among those I know here, the job situation hasn't changed. I wonder if this is a ploy - act like you are doing well, and you will do well.

When are we "acting" and when is it genuine? Especially in December the decorations go up to pep up the spirits. It really helps on this dreary latitude - so dark and cold, so drink hot mulled wine and look at the bright lights and you'll be bright and happy.

But one can't deny or disguise that life has rough edges and aspects we at best wish were different and at worst can't bear to think about. Kitsch, I think, involves denying these facts and forcing a surface happiness, which is what makes some people loathe the Christmas season. But true art looks at these situations and might seek to understand, to fix, or simply to present these apparant contradictions.

A week ago a friend on FB said, looking for confirmation, that this season makes everyone feel happier and in a better mood. Yet for many this holiday season painfully reminds them that important people are missing - the empty chairs at the dining table, fewer presents under the tree, or no invitations to Christmas events. Having grown up spending every Christmas with family and grandparents, now there are so many empty chairs at the dining table I sit at at Christmas, that I often would rather not eat there. But this is also Christmas, a normal part of the journey of life. The idea of unconditional love that stops short of no effort to love others. And ultimately for me, the notion - the conviction - that the ultimate gift - God's unconditional love and promise to be with him forever - can somehow make even difficult times somehow happy, when you know that many things in life could be easier and simpler.

I hope we can remember those around us who might be spending their first Christmas season with acute sufferring because of the empty places at the table, since some they loved have passed on or cannot be there. These people might be too embarrassed to let you know of their situation and may hide it at all cost. Have open eyes not for Santa and Christmas treats, but for the smallest signs of need in others.

Half a Year Later

Leipzig in late summer on a lazy afternoon
Texas - near Fort Worth - in mid-summer after I mowed the lawn
York in England in October
Leeds in England in October

I thought I'd report back. Since my last post a lot has happened - nothing negative. I've had the house in the USA worked on (and I visited it too), and I've gotten a new job in teaching. This led me to the UK in early October on a business trip for ten days. So many new duties and tasks, and so many new impressions, not the least of which is the outcome of the election for the yankees and the new situation there as a result.

I don't know what to think right now. I'm disappointed at the short collective memory among the voting population in the USA. The current administration did not create the crisis - it was plopped in their lap two years ago, and I think they've done a smart job dealing with it; there is indeed much more to do, for after only 24 months you can't undone such dimensions of crisis. But let some adults done cheerleader- tactics and traverse the country with a message supposedly connected with the Boston tea party - calling it a message is already inaccurate, for it is more a burst of gut anger with little or no substance. And these people have made it into the nation's capital now. Suicides among teenagers are a problem, and those not towing the line in their social-sexual orientation are mobbed and bullied to the point of killing themselves to get away from the torture. Whatever one's conviction might be about same-sex orientation, it is never correct or "christian" to force those at least leaning toward same-sex choices with violence or psychological abuse.

And then I see unusual tenacious protests in Germany. In Stuttgart protesters show great strength in opposing renovations of the main station, and new protests are opposing the transport of nuclear waste to disposal sites. In comparison to these perhaps not so lucratively funded but cogently constructed protests in Germany, those tea parties in the US seem like a paroday of political activism - wind with no substance. Perhaps it would be the biggest blessing for the current administration, to have one of these party people running for President in two years. Time will tell what happens, so in the meantime we can "wait and drink tea" as the Germans say.

The old garage door opener finally turned up...

This garage door finally has its old opener back....

My brother went to the door last week. Wilma, who spent the last 13 hours of my mother's life with her, was there. Wilma wanted to give him something.

When Wilma took my mother to the hospital for tests on March 29, 2008, mother took the garage door opener along - she would need it to get back in to gather her clothes to move to a nursing home. Not wanting to lose the door opener, mother carefully put it in Wilma's glove box on that Friday - in about 5 days she would be going back home to get ready to move to a care facility.

Wilma was back at Baylor Grapevine about midnight that Sunday night - she knew my mother needed her. And about 13 hours later my mother left her broken down lungs behind for the real air of paradise and permanent rest from so much worry.

But that garage door opener stayed in the glove box of Wilma's car waiting for those fingers to press it. And Wilma returned it to my brother last week, after finding it and figuring out where it came from.

I don't know if I can use that opener again. After two years of waiting, I wonder if it would be better for the opener to just keep on waiting. After all, it isn't waiting for my fingers to press it... as it is, it opens much more than a garage door right now.

Seven Years of Leipzig Today

The view from my current living room in winter - here is my life right now
The home in Texas, where my life still somehow continues over there....
My permanent resting place someday just a few feet away from this obelisk where I will take my place next to my mother, just as we are standing here together, to join her to await the resurrection.

This is a short post: today I have been in Leipzig for seven years. And when I got off the plane on that snowy day back then, I knew no one in this city, and I never would have imagined all the things that would happen in the next five years: church crises, new jobs, moving, and the sudden illness and death of my mother.

Now I look back and have many friends in Leipzig and Germany. I feel very much at home here, despite the frigid weather. And I look with concern at my life in Texas. Seven years of continuous life in Leipzig, and no one from the states has visited me; no one from Texas - except my mother and brother - has even called me on the telephone one single time. I can count on one hand the number of people from the USA who keep any kind of regular email contact with me. My mother was my real connection to my life in Texas, and now she is gone. I've tried this blog, and then facebook, but I have slowly come to realize that nothing will change the saying "out of sight, out of mind", so for everybody over there I am "out of sight and out of mind".

I don't know how much longer I will stay here. Yet I wonder what I have to return to in the USA. Most of my family I now visit at the cemetary, and as the years without ongoing communication go by, you grow apart from people you used to know so well.

While I am thankful for these seven years, Life is very different now than it was then. Some of it changed because of my decisions, but much change was thrown upon me. Yet as the years go by, I realize more and more that our life is woven out of the connections to the people we get to know and even love. I am happy for this woven garment here in Europe, but sad to see the garment being neglected in the USA.

Twenty-Ten sounds like a football play

This was one place where we rang in the new year - Roses in Berlin-Kreuzberg. What kitschy-cheesy decorations!
The Moltke Bridge in Berlin at new years.

The new year is already here. I wouldn't know, except that the days are finally getting a little longer. We're still in the deep freeze in central Europe, and I am so fed up with snow and ice everywhere. I'll take any temperature above freezing. Sunshine would be the best right now.

Today I feel like this eel....
Here I am with Lars at Sea World at the Alexanderplatz in central Berlin. Freezing cold outside.

My New Year's Eve was great, after a totally uneventful Christmas. I visited a friend in Berlin, got to go shopping there and saw the fireworks at the Brandenburg Gate and then went to some clubs until about 3 a.m. Don't worry, I drank nothing at all.... I was in no mood to compromise my alertness in situations where it is shoulder to shoulder people as far as the eye can see. But it was very entertaining and exciting to see so many people fit into a small club, and people were even trying to dance... that was a sight.

A semester at the university is ending, and on St. Patrick's Day I'll set foot on my homeland for the next visit. Perhaps you've followed me on another forum - FB - where I've become quite disillusioned with the absolute lack of follow through there. Since I live on the other side of the world - compared to the place I was raised, I value internet forums as ways to find out what friends and family are doing and how life is treating them. But lethargy reigns, so no one responds, and when people post something, it is often mindless banter - things that millions of people do or experience every few minutes. This concerns me, since as the years go by you can lose the common bond with those you spent years together with earlier in life, and you lose this bond when you no longer have common experiences to share. Reminiscing can only go so far, since we live in the present and not in the past.

Right now hibernation is in gear. With high temperatures not even near the freezing point, and with over a month of snow on the ground now, I spend most of my time in my apartment reading, translating, listening to music, or inviting a few friends over. I still go running on my usual schedule, and that is invigorating, but otherwise I want away from the cold outside.

Thank you for reading my blog. I haven't given it up. I hope your new year has started well.