Every cloud has its silver lining indeed....

The view from my west deck about 9 pm. any day in June

I spend a lot of time looking at the sky these days. When you look up, you see the border between "here" and "not here" is invisible. Where do you cross that line and suddenly find yourself "no longer here"? But when you see a cloud, it suddenly makes "not here" seem much more noticeable.

I think Ascension Day is a holiday that is sorely neglected. Of all events, this one should help us see this distinction much better. According to sources, Jesus spent about 40 days with his followers after his resurrection. Then, while they were standing with him, he - that is, he and his physical body with the wounds from his crucifixion - rose up and up into the sky and left their sight. Here is no room for neo-platonic separation of (good) spirit and (evil) matter - spirit and matter rose into the realm of God as a unity.

The man who stands in for us - he and his body crossed that border and went up next to the creator of everything anywhere and sat down next to him - he still sits there now with the same wounds from his execution, reminding us every moment that true love is eternally stronger than death, for true love seemed to tear up all our biology and chemistry teaches us about what happens to a life form when it "dies." Yet true love is also the author of all the real rules of biology and chemistry that we will never excavate entirely.

In the western (that ist, between Roman Catholic East Europe and westward) Christian world, we see many crucifixes - Jesus suffering on the cross. But that leaves us standing in Good Friday waiting for what comes next.

The earliest Christians had it right; in their catacombs in Rome they gave us "graffiti" not of Jesus suffering on the cross, but of Jesus, the Lord of all the universe, reigning with all power. They knew what they were about to see when they closed their eyes the last time - the blood had already flown, that was over. They were about to see the real ruler of all. Ascension Day reminds me, at least, that it is not death but life that enters into the ream of God, because true love is stronger than death.

Dream - Reality - Dream?

Here I am asleep in a Berlin tram; why would I ever want to awaken? In my dream I am with my mother at:

At West End in Dallas in February 2006 - my mother enjoying what would be her last visit to central Dallas.
The Galleria in Dallas in February 2006: my mother (on the far right) with my friends Steve and Marita from Germany.

Dreams often have more of reality than our waking life. How much of our waking life allows us to concentrate on what is really most important to us, what we often attempt to ignore or deny? And so my dreams now do me this service and allow me to enjoy more time with the most important lady in my life as I await the union of dream and reality.

Life Between Resurrection and Ascension

Do you see the rainbow reminding us that storms cannot take away our hope and God's promise.

For me it is more than symbolic that my mother passed away between resurrection Sunday and Ascension Day - she left us and reminds us that we remain here between these two pillars of existence. So how did Jesus' followers feel after they saw him bodily go up into the sky? They had been together with him for about 3 years almost daily. But I knew no life without my mother somewhere, near or far, still playing an important role in my life. Now I have to find a life between resurrection and ascension, a life in which I remember her and anticipate seeing her again.

Help has come from different sources. The Bible and prayer play primary roles. A little book by N.T. Wright, "Following Jesus, Reflections on Biblical Discipleship" has been very helpful in clairifying misunderstandings about life after this life. And a CD I seldom heard has reminded me that for Christians, when we see God directly and see our family and friends again, knowing there will never be a separation ever again, it is a time, an existence of matchless joy and celebration, described in the Bible as a giant feast with the best foods and wine and lots of dancing. In other words, you cannot imagine having a better time. And all our family and friends who have passed out of this life now enjoy this feast, and they also long for us to join them, and they know we will join them, sooner or later.

So for me, this time of waiting is a part of the "sting of death" Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 15, the emotional grief and pain of separation that should also remind us: this is the last thing that God will remove, and then it is all over. No more pain, grief, separation, tears, fear, insecurity, or wondering what will happen.

Elegy of love and hope

My Mother at Central Market in Fort Worth in August 2004

My Mother at the Botanical Gardens in Fort Worth in March 2005

Our last visit to the family cemetary in January 2007. Now she has joined the rest of our family to await the resurrection.

You are my first thought when I wake,

when I see pictures of you, I get weak,

I know right away if anything I do or experience would make you laugh or smile,

And I think of everything I want to tell you every day,

I recognize gifts that would touch you,

And remember restaurant meals you would like,

but none of these things can change the bitter reality;

for you are gone.




When will I ever see you again?

Yet I still feel your presence every day

knowing what you say

seeing the look in your face

that speaks volumes to someone you love;

When will I take you in my arms again

and know that I am finally where I belong?



When the trumpets sound

And I lay my head the last time down

Then I will redeem my love and longing

As I feel your true face the Maker fit you with from eternity,

As I hear your real voice with my perfect ears;

We will dance again like in that dance class,

But this time there will be no stumbling,

For you have taught me all the moves,

And in our resurrection bodies we will dance before the Author of the unconditional love you always showed me,

And no tears will ever again fall as we embrace with our immortal arms of love.

This is a reason to have a cell phone

I never realized how a cell phone could become one of the most important tools of your life.

On March 31, 2008, my mother lay in a hospital room dying, and I was in Germany calling the nurses' station. A dear friend of mine was at my mother's side - along with many other friends and family. She was no longer responding, but the nurses knew she could still hear. So I called my friend on her cell phone, and she put the cell phone up to my mother's ear. And I spoke to my mother - one last time.

Her heart beat faster and she breathed deeper, she even smiled a little, the nurses said. And I had the last five minutes of her life this side of eternity to tell her I loved her and would never forget her, and that nothing could ever separate us as we look forward to a reunion someday with all other family members who have gone on before us.

She died while I was speaking to her on that cell phone - I was the last voice she heard in her life her this side of eternity.And I look forward to hearing her say to me someday "hi Mark, this is your mother...." but then we will need no cell phone. And our conversation then will never end.....

I have not posted a blog for a long time. My mother's deteriorating health made it impossible for me to write anything on this blog - I simply did not have the spirit to compose. I visited her for three weeks in February, so we had much time together then. But at the last week of March her condition suddenly began deteriorating, and within three days she died.

I now have no parents this side of eternity. As I continue through this chasm of grief, I value your support and sincere words of comfort. I do not know where this journey will lead, but I know that the hope of the restoration of all creation in the resurrection of the dead is the most important anchor of my life anyway, and now even more so.

A Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year to All of You!

Oliver expertly mixing our aperitif to enjoy with homemade breadsticks.

Catherina is about to taste the fruit of her labour: the main course.

The table is set for Chritmas Eve!

A nutcracker stands guard at a Christmas market in a village in the Erzgebirge - the Ore Mountains.

This is where I sit when I post my blogs and email - all cozy amongst my books.

Well, I did it! I didn’t write a single blog entry for all of December. Please forgive me. December is always full of Christmas parties in Germany – I had three of them begging my attendance. So you go bowling, and you sit and eat and wonder how you will get rid of the extra kilos… haha. Then my mother fell ill again. She had another trip to the ER in the middle of the night, this time the ambulance was the taxi. After about 4 days in hospital the doctor removed about a half gallon – or so almost 2 litres – of fluid out of her right lung. I was considering a last minute vacation to Spain or Greece over Christmas, but after this development, I decided I needed to stay put in Leipzig and be ready in case more bad news concerning my mother came. Fortunately no bad news came, and she continues to improve, but I also had a rather uneventful Christmas and New Year’s here.

I spent Christmas Eve with Oliver and Catharina – a German-French pair here. We had a French Christmas Eve, as the photos show. It was a wonderful time together – we ate from 8 pm. until 1:30 am.! Oliver and Catherina are wonderful hosts.

In Germany Christmas has developed its own agenda separate from any Christian/Bible foundation. Here it is simply a big family reunion with a Christmas tree and gifts. Well, Mary probably did not give birth to Jesus in the night of the 24th to the 25th of December anyway, but the beautiful idea of God’s inviting and self-sacrificing love gets lost here as people are so inward-focused on a ridiculously big meal and family time together that they don’t look to see if some might have nothing to do on Christmas. As I gain more life experience, I tend to want to downsize Christmas and give it a simple elegance, thinking of the puritan hymn “It’s a gift to be simple, it’s a gift to be free…”

On this past Saturday I spent the whole day in Berlin touring and shopping with two friends. We left early by car and returned to Leipzig at 12:30 am. early Sunday. I had a baguette at La Fayette, a famous French department store in the Friedrichstrasse, and had a piece of Gateau Madame at LeNotre in the Kaufhaus des Westen, a huge 8-story department store with a gourmet food section on the top floor. We had lunch in a simple restaurant with over 100 different beers on the menu, took in Potsdamer Platz, saw the Sony Center again, and spent a long time walking down the Kudamm, short for the Kurfürstendamm, a luxury boulevard with shops completely out of my purchasing league.

And New Year’s Eve was in Leipzig, starting in a Brasserie at 7 pm., then going to an Irish pub, and from there to Maga Pon, an East German style bar. Then it was back into the city Augustusplatz for the fireworks at midnight. By 2 am. I was back home and, really, glad that 2008 had finally already started. 2007 was a mixed year for me. I did my best, and while my health couldn’t be better, and the finances are fine, yet I still feel uncertain about whether 2007 was a good year or not. Nevertheless, I am thankful for another year of life and look forward to 2008.

What is your final analysis of 2007? I hope it was a good year for you.

Weihnachtsmarkt / Christmas Market in Leipzig

An official entrance to the Christmas market at the old market square.

A light pyramid - an East German Christmas tradition - next to the Nikolai Church.

The clock tower of the old (15th century) city hall in Christmas mood.

Compared to the weekend, this is no crowd....



Merry Christmas to all! It has already started! On Monday the Christmas Market in Leipzig - and in most other German cities - opened. This is one of my favorite aspects of living here. Stands all over the city centre offer hot spiced wine, crepes, waffels with various yummy sauces, doughnuts, sugar-coated roasted almonds, roasted chestnuts, German sausages, coffee, tea, egg gnog, flame-roasted salmon, mushroom pans, garlic bread, and other treats. And you can buy all sorts of candles, trinkets, jewelry, toys, stuffed animals, candies, breads, jellied fruits, socks, house shoes, scarves, etc. I met two friends Thursday evening, and we walked through the maze for two hours and still didn't see it all. Temps were close to freezing, so I was bundled up from head to foot, and after a hot spiced wine, I was warm all over.

Since Leipzig is supposed to have one of the best Christmas markets in Germany, the weekend is the worst time to go see it; tourist come in droves, and it is wall-to-wall people all over the city centre. You have no hope of getting anywhere fast - just move with the literally shoulder shoulder mass. I will never do that again!

My time is the weekday, since I am in the city center every day anyway. But it is too expensive! 2.50 for a hot spiced wine, 4 Euros for a mushroom pan, 8 Euros for a piece of a hot flame cooked salmon! Last evening I had the one wine, a mushroom pan, and cheese crepes, and it all cost me 10 Euros together - all just snacks.

Such a pity that we don't have such markets in the states. Here it is really cold, sometimes it snows, and medieval city centres give you the backdrop for a winder wonderland and a dreamy Christmas market.

Other famous Christmas markets in Germany: the Striezelmarkt in Dresden, the Nürnberg Christkindlmarkt, and numerous smaller ones whose city centres give them a matchless charm.

I hope you have your ways of enjoying this season of the year. But what is this season for? More on that later....

You cannot give up your own life, but you must first really know what it is, to keep it.

Place: Berlin, in front of the old library of the Humbolt University. Person: Me looking too serious.

Medical progress blesses us and also puts us before decisions spared earlier generations. The elderly now stay elderly much longer, creating much longer time spans in which they need various quality and quantity of assistance to keep their quality of life. The next of kin bear the moral imperative to assure the elderly next of kin maintain their quality of life. Some who have the money would simply throw dollars their way and go on with their young dynamic life, knowing that the facilities and care they bankroll will keep mom or dad safe and as healthy as possible. But can we satisfy the moral imperative with money alone?

When you were a toddler, did your parents simply pay someone to feed you (i.e. a wet nurse), to change your diapers, and to occupy you, so that mom and dad could work, socialize, play, pursue hobbies and “get the most out of life”? Or were you parents usually there at home, even when “nothing” was happening at home or when they could have done “more interesting things” elsewhere?

And, who said helping the elderly next of kin keep their quality of life was boring, a burden, or uncomfortable? Does our own quality of life revolve around living on a plush satin-cushioned pillow suckling Swiss chocolate as flickering candle light and incense underscore the ambiance our carefully selected film or music provide?

Yes, the satin pillow illuminated by candle light belongs to life, just as changing diapers at 2 am. does, whether the diapers are on a toddler or an octogenarian. And we fathom the deeper truths and significance of life not only by reading great authors and reflecting on their words, but also by struggling with and helping others. We live life by doing it, not only by reading about it or watching it.

So much of our western lifestyle at the beginning of this century seems to revolve around experiencing things – being “rolled over” by sensory or emotional waves, getting goose bumps and jitters during the latest adventure vacation, or zoning out in the country. So where is the jitter and excitement of changing diapers, helping someone go shopping, or dusting and raking for someone who can’t do these things anymore?

I think we find ourselves when we are bored, when we are doing tasks “anyone” can accomplish. When we identify with the unspectacular dilemma others may – through no guilt of their own – find themselves in, we meet ourselves face to face.

And I have time for this insight now, because I cursed the cold constant rain outside, keeping me from doing anything but sitting on my couch, drinking tea from Nepal, and watching the candle flicker as I think.

How about pouring a cup or tea from anywhere, light a candle, and tell me what you think?

Wishing you a happy post-Thanksgiving weekend,

Your Euromark

Hospitals, Friends, and Winter...

The most beautiful woman in the world: my mother!

Scott (and I taking the pic) on the high speed train to Dresden.

Florian with his typical smile.... so inviting...

Hi there… Do you remember me? These days I sometimes wonder if I remember me. Shortly after my last blog entry my mother became rather ill – pneumonia, a urinary tract infection, and a few other things to boot. After an early morning in the local ER she spent about 5 days in the hospital and then a little over a month in a skilled nursing center getting her strength and weight back up to par. Thursday, just a few days ago, she finally went back home to stay.
Yes, she is getting older, and I have to get wiser fast. I was seriously considering a quick unscheduled flight to Dallas to see with my own eyes what was happening, but things stabilized enough to allow me to follow the events via daily telephone calls. And, our family has some priceless friends who give me new insight into God’s love and care for us. Randy, a friend of mine from Abilene, and Wilma, a former neighbor on my mother’s street, have shown us how the Father takes care of us through his angels.
During my next visit to Dallas in February I will look things over carefully to see if I need to begin making plans to permanently relocate to be close enough to my mother to help her on a regular basis.

And so my life in central Europe takes on a new hue – am I in the middle or at the end of a chapter of my life here in Germany?

During this upheaval a friend from Texas visited me. Scott, from Austin, spent a week with me. I realized how I have lost touch with everyday life in Texas after almost 5 years. Scott helped me see a perspective for returning to Texas, if that is my fate next year.
Scott discovered Leipzig with me, eating cake and tortes every day and traveling to Dresden to visit the Green Vault – the treasure chest of August the Strong – the King of Saxony who amassed incredible collections of every kind of priceless articles. His visit was too short.
Last Wednesday Scott flew back, and I had until Saturday to prepare for Florian – from Lübeck – and his weekend visit. With both Florian and Scott I was in the Museum der bildenenden Künste – Museum of Educational Arts – a very progressive museum of modern art.

Florian’s train left a few hours ago, so now I sit here looking out the window at the soupy gray sky and longing for some sun. Winter has already arrived in Leipzig. As Gabor, a friend, and I were putting my winter tires on my car Thursday, it started sleeting very heavily. Within a few minutes everything was white. Highs are now only about 40 degrees – 4 Celsius – every day. And this drab gray sky so dull that you can’t even make out the clouds – I am already tired of it.
But Christmas is coming, so the Christmas market will provide diversion from the cold. And what do you do to forget the cold in Winter – or do you even have real winter where you live? Lucky you….. and have a good Thanksgiving week too!

In loving memory of a great father....

The last picture of me and my father together, taken about two years before his death.

It was on this very day, a number of years ago, that I lost one of the most important persons in my life: my father. After 4 months in the intensive care unit is an excellent Dallas hospital, he passed away only 12 hours after the doctors, in conference with the family, had given up all hope.

Some people say time heals everything. No. You become accustomed to the grief and pain. And you remember the persons who modeled God's unconditional love to you, who never left you even when you were not thankful for their love.

So now I visit the cemetary and see my future grave two spaces removed from my father's, and, in the midst of bottomless grief and disbelief, slowly learn that true love, as Solomon (in the Old Testament) said, is stronger than death.

Please join me in thanking the creator for the time I had with my father in this life.

Sunday afternoon in the park and café

Sebastian found a curious friend from the next table, and I also chipped in with petting...

This was a better view of the café with a small band in the background

This is the park - notice the little white spots - those are "Knallerbsen" or "exploding peas - you throw them on the ground and they pop!

Here's me in front of a rusty old fence with a longing look....

Here is a colourful museum at the bus stop, so something to look at while you wait for the bus.



Today was a dry and pleasant fall day, so Sebastian and I spent the afternoon at a café - das Glashaus - no translation needed - and then went for a walk. We petted some dogs at the next table, and had hot chocolate, café au lait, and Mozart torte - a nice chocolatey cake. Then we walked for over an hour. It was cloudy and cool, but that is fall here. This week's Wednesday is a holiday - day of German unity - so I will see what we do then. When is your next holiday?

Happy October to you all....

Happy Birthday Sebastian! Hoch soll er leben!

Sebastian, on the right, with some of his co-workers at the bar. Notice the little red glasses - that is the Schnaps his family made.

Sebastian and his sister Jessica assess the situation behind the bar.

Hard at work.... and drawing good Urkrostitzer beer from just north of Leipzig.

Ja, hoch soll er leben, dreimal hoch! Yesterday - Friday - evening was Sebastian's birthday party. Since he has worked in one of the university sponsored bars as a bartender for several years, he threw the party there. It was a good time to visit with his family, his friends from the university, and enjoy some good German beer from the keg, along with some Schnaps made by Sebastian's family with Vodka and a local berry. Unfortunately, I had to leave early, since I had to get up early today to teach (on Saturday morning!), but Sebastian told me the last guests left at 3:15 am., so he was home a little after 4 am. And today it is gray, cold, and raining, so we are simply hanging low to wait for some sun tomorrow. I hope your weekend is going well too....

More memories of Weimar in August and looking forward to Fall...

How romantic... sitting and waiting for our meal, this carriage trotted by....

We wanted to have cake and coffee here, but all seats were taken!

So we settled for this café in Weimar, where we had cake and coffee and watched a horse-drawn carriage go by...

A double rainbow seen looking to the east from my east balcony just after a storm.

Fall has arrived, so I bid farewell to summer with these moments from August. Before the end of September the leaves are already changing to so many colors; I'll send pictures before too long.

But here I have more moments in Weimar: you have cake and coffee with us and sit at the lunch table as we are surprised by a carriage prancing by.

What does Fall mean to you? In Texas it means you finally get relief from the heat. In central Europe it means you get ready for real winter and lots of darkness for 4-5 months. And here in central Germany it also means the most colorful time of the year as the landscape dazzles you with orange, red, yellow, purple, brown, green, blue, and more colors of the dying/hibernating countryside.

But for me Fall is always the season that reminds me that death belongs to life and the cyle of life, and that death can also be stoundingly beautiful as it is a part of life and also matchlessly sad and full of grief.

PC or Mac?

Dear Readers,

Thanks you for your loyalty. Now I need your studied opinion. I am considering buying a new laptop, as my current device is 4.5 years old. Some of you are avid Mac fans, perhaps others prefer PCs. Which should I buy, and why? Tell me your glory and sweat and blood stories, please....lol. Don't just say: "buy a...." and period.
I'll post more new pics soon. So don't go away too long....

your Euromark in Leipzig.

Weimar and the End of August

The Rathaus (City Hall) of Weimar at town square - reserved majesty almost French in character.

The Russian Orthodox Church in the town cemetary - the Slavic influence here.

A garden in the city - an oasis of peace and tranquility

Sebastian peacefully searching out his lunch selection....

And I'm havin a conversation with some bathers at the well....



Hello all, we've been to Weimar, perhaps the most literary and cultural small town of Germany, and home to the Weimaraner - the breed of dog my family owned for 8 years. Goethe, Schiller, Wieland, and several other literary notables spent time here, and, as these pictures betray, this is a wonderful tourist attraction. It was warm on the day we visitied, so we could dine outdoors and enjoy the peace and baroque splendour of central Germany.

And, on another note, if you visit Germany, please notice that you must look long and hard to find a trash can - you cannot throw anything away! Unless, of course, you simply toss your refuse on the ground - not advisable, as this will garner you harsh words from others passing by. Where you buy things is where you find a trash can for refuse. That's it! So once you have something in your hand, it is not easy to get rid of it! The lesson - don't grab something unless you mean business!

In this sense I wish you a refuse-free weekend.

your Euromark

Where have all the days gone?

Welcome September! Autumn is about to fall on us, and we – in the northern hemisphere – will fall back into another time, as the sun will rise earlier after the time change. Where has time gone? I apologize for not updating this e-diary called a blog sooner. Summer seemed not to exist for me, I was so busy working. What was I doing? Translations, more classes, and now another new job teaching in a private business school every Wednesday and on some Saturday mornings. And the pay is good, so this also helps. I will teach the Saturday morning group how to make small talk in English. Not a bad way to spend Saturday morning: teaching people to talk about “nothing” and walking away with some nice money for it!

A week ago Saturday Sebastian and I went to Weimar for a day trip. We took the train on a weekend ticket deal, which meant per person we paid only 13 Euros for the round trip. Weimar, as you may know or remember, is a cultural center for Germany. The famous Anna Amalia Library is there. It burned down in 2004, sending numerous pricelss books up in smoke, but it still houses some essential original books, documents, and monographs of German literature. Weimar is also the namesake for the Weimar Republic, the German nation as it was known between the two world wars, before the national socialists under Hitler took power. And Weimar is also associated with Buchenwald, a concentration camp from WWII just a few kilometers from Weimar. And finally, the Weimaraner is a hunting dog which was carefully breeded in 19th century Weimar – a fabulous dog. I know, for my family had a Weimaraner. What else is there to say? The whole city has been restored, so you can visit the garden house in which Goethe wrote some of his Faust. Schiller also has a house in Weimar. What a strange mixture – a train station that brought many Jews and other undesireables for the Nazis to their death was our arrival point for a leisurely day of tourism. Our last stop before heading back to the train station was a splendid little café in Biedermeier style, where I had one of the best cups of coffee and almond apricot torte I have had in a long time. And the bill for this was 3 Euros 50 – less than 4 Dollars – not bad. Unfortunately, the rechargeable batteries for my digital camera need just that, so I cannot transfer my pictures of Weimar into my computer so you could see them. I hope to rectify that soon, though.
In Berlin at the New National Gallery there is a special exhibition of impressionist paintings from NY’s Metropolitan Museum of Art, so I hope to do the 1 hour train ride up there to see it before it leaves in October.

Oh, I have seen a number of films this summer. Bettina, I did see Shortbus – a good film with a comforting message that actually had nothing to do with sex, in my opinion. I saw Battle in Heaven – a Mexican film that was in my opinion a terrible film. Also Adam’s Apples, a funny Danish film about a crazy pastor in the Danish countryside, and a hilarious British film, the name of which I only know in the German: Sterben für Anfänger. And I saw the Simpsons film last week.
So, how has your summer been?

No Sunny Summer Here - Lets Hope for Better

Thank you, Bettina and Aggie, for pushing me. I have been a little under the weather lately. June is grass pollen time in Germany, and I have hay fever problems with this. The past two weeks I have been suffering. Now it is better, but still not back to normal. Aggie, it is not warm anymore! We have constant rain, high winds, and highs often only 20 degrees Celsius, or 68 Fahrenheit, and mostly cloudy. Where did the sun and heat of April and May go?

Sebastian returns to the apartment on Monday from his time in Cologne – I am looking forward to that. I can live alone, but I much prefer together with someone, and since Sebastian is one of my best friends, you couldn’t ask for more!

I’ve been inviting people over a lot. What do you cook? I found a tuna fish pie recipe – all ingredients are cold, so it is good for those hot summer days – wish we had some right now. Yesterday evening I made a tamale casserole and Mexican rice for two friends. And later today Steve and Marita, my friends from Pirna, are coming for the weekend. I’ll have pics of their visit up on my blog soon.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about moral and ethical accountability in the high tech age, because I have been very disappointed with one particular situation. Think about it: if a person is standing in front of you and can reach out and touch you, you see immediate reactions to your communication to them – body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and a host of other signs. And, if you spike their ire enough, they could even get physically violent with you (but hopefully not!). You can always find them, since you probably know either their phone number or postal address.

Internet forums remove this access to the other party, but the other party is still there – probably sitting at a computer and typing on the keyboard. So, the moral and ethical accountability is still present; our words – typed this time – still affect the other person. But I am finding out that it is sadly more common to think that because the other person is not literally in front of me, because the other person has no other access to me other than that internet forum, this would release me from any ethical or moral responsibility. I can say what I want, I can treat them any way I desire, and since they cannot “find me”, it becomes okay to conduct myself in the this way. Perhaps this is simply a further stage of the reasoning some use when speeding – “there is no radar trap here, so nobody can catch me, so it is okay.” The other person cannot catch me, so I can do whatever I want.
I welcome your thoughts and observations on this topic!

Finally, below are some thoughts on rising suicide and affluence in the world. I welcome your thoughts on this also.

China: Rising prosperity is giving Asian youth a buying power and lifestyle unimaginable 20 years ago. Major Chinese cities feature clubs, venues, simply the western scene with youth eating, drinking, dancing and wearing clothes you see in NYC, London, Paris, or elsewhere. And the suicide rate among youth is the highest it has ever been.

Plano: In this, one of the wealthiest suburbs of north Dallas, youth go to elite private schools, ivy league universities, and sport designer clothes and cars as their parents’ wallets often fulfill every wish they could have. And the suicide rate among youth in this suburb is one of the highest in the state of Texas.

An affluent family and unhindered access to technology should provide the seedbed for unmitigated progress; you have the money and the flexibility to do anything. This is the postmodern world: my story, my world, my life, my space. I buy anything I want without working and planning. I go on the internet and find a virtual life with no hassle or conflict. This is the ultimate convenience. No charge, no wait, no effort – what could be easier? Just swipe your credit card through the machine, type in some words or digits, click the mouse, and voilà, you have created your own world – your own space. And you soon have your own world of friends, and a network of relationships emerges in this, your space. And, if anyone does not fit into your space anymore, the solution is only a mouse click away – delete, block, and forget about it. No charge, no wait, no pain, no effort, and no way will this work in the real world!
And perhaps this is the key to the high suicide rate among those with diminishing financial worries. Life is not simply buying and adding and deleting on a computer; life is above all about fulfillment, about realizing deep goals, finding real relationships, real love. These things require work, pain, effort, vulnerability, and living with the possibility of failure.

Yes, the real world has pain, embarrassment, and failure. But those who have not lived in it enough are at some point confronted with reality, above all when a situation comes in which they cannot “solve” the problem with a swipe of the credit card or a click of the mouse. Having perhaps only the most rudimentary social skills, or no self-confidence in conflict situations, some, in desperation, turn to suicide. Others set themselves up for a life of dysfunctionality, unable to truly relate to others and living an unfulfilled life. Perhaps this is an even greater tragedy than suicide – a life of constant frustration.

Cologne, Birthdays, and Swimming

Starbucks in Cologne: Sebastian doesn't understand my joy...

Sebastian waiting for his Kölsch beer; what do you think of his t-shirt's message?

Sebastian and I at lunch on Saturday by the Rhein River.

Here I am for a kodak moment at the Rhein River in Cologne... Like my new shirt? I had just bought it a few minutes before the photo.

I'm thinking about you as I wait for my Kölsch beer....

Here I am in front of one of Cologne's many romanesque churches.

In front of the Cologne Cathedral. My only worry and ambition: to be this big....

The bar where we attended the jazz concert Sunday evening - you like?

And the music rolls....

Frank - in the middle - at his birthday party - we are toasting with Champagne.

Matthias critically assesses the quality of this white wine....

Here I am finally updating my blog after too many weeks. No, Chris, I am not brooding over your comments on certain racial groups –lol. What have I been up to? Two weeks I was in Schipkau, a village in Brandenburg, for a golden wedding anniversary, and then for a Jugendweihe, as I mentioned in my last post. Then, on Pentecost weekend I visited Sebastian in Cologne. An interesting city on the Rhein River. We were on the go all day long. Friday evening I arrived, and on Monday afternoon I left. From Leipzig to Cologne the one-way train trip takes 5.5 hours, and that is with high speed trains! Cologne has a lot of interesting action – lots of cafes, bars, clubs, shops, and lots of Starbucks, which we visited often, because Leipzig has no Starbucks at all. Sunday evening we went to a jazz concert in a bar – see the pic. It was good, but after an hour we left, because we both are not big fans of jazz.
But most of all it was good to see Sebastian. He is one of the best friends of my entire life, so we had a lot of catching up to do. He will return to Leipzig at the end of this month. I am also looking forward to having someone to help me with the cooking and house cleaning! Haha.

Then, a week ago on Saturday, I was at Frank and Sylvia’s garden for Frank’s birthday party. I took my bike, because I wanted to drink a little more – a beer and 3 glasses of wine – a lot for me – lol. So at 1:30 a.m. I was back in my apartment. And now we are in the heat of summer, with highs in the low 90s every day – too much for this place, since no one has air conditioning. So I have been swimming at the lake – see my pics from last summer – to keep cool, and you see why I have not updated you earlier – I was up to my ears in water – literally! Lol. And finally, I am teaching more these days, which is good for the bank account. May was a good month, and June will probably also be a good month. But I have less time as a result. And, my activity in the internet keeps me writing emails to friends and nurturing those friendships, because I am not satisfied with a friendship staying virtual forever – I want these relationships to take on flesh and bone.

Sorry that this post meanders in the train of thought. But I hope you enjoy the pictures. I have been having a good time, and I hope you are too!