In August 2004 we enjoyed a mild morning having coffee at Central Market in Fort Worth. As of today it has been one year since I last saw my mother. I hugged her, kissed her, and felt confident I would see her again in just a few months, in the summer of 2008, since I was certain I was moving back to Texas to be there to help take care of her.
I walked out of the door and got into the car as my friend Randy drove me to the airport. I commented to him that now the most difficult part was over - saying goodbye was the most challenging. Little did I know I had just said my last goodbye in person to her during this life...
And about two weeks later here in Leipzig I had a shivering revelation that I would not see her alive again. I chose to ignore that knowledge, dismissing it as an insane notion. I knew there was something different about that notion, though. Yet I continued my plans, not suspecting that in just a few weeks the fabric of my life would be torn beyond all repair...
3 Kommentare:
You'll find the time passes quicker and quicker now Mark. I think the first anniversary is always the worst. But, it does get easier to remember the good things about our folks that we appreciated the most. I've ignored those little warnings to myself many times and always looked back wondering why I didn't take notice of the warning bell ringing in my head.
Wow, great post. I too have lost my mother. 3 years for me. In my opinion it doesnt get any easier, it just gets less 'raw' with time. Just yesterday I was in a store and saw something that my Mom used to make. It was as if she had placed it there for me to see... to remember her... Of course it brought me to tears.
You wrote,"We are all replaceable, so what matters? Love and friendship weave the tapestry of our souls that make each of us a unique spiritual garment that never decays, for “love is stronger than death….”
Beautiful. I believe that death of loved ones is also something that is woven into the tapestry of our lives. No one is ever the same after losing a parent, sibling, child. We just learn to live with the loss.
I have not had to go through that yet, but I guess we all will at some point.
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